How to support your partner who is trying to conceive this Mother’s Day
It’s that time of year again – Mothers’ Day. This conversation can be especially challenging for couples who have been working with a fertility doctor for more than a couple of years and are feeling hopeless that they will ever conceive. Many women experience post-conception depression after years of hoping and trying. Mother’s Day is supposed to be a special time to celebrate the joys of new motherhood, but instead it’s often quite bittersweet.
Are you struggling to know how best to support your partner through this day? Here are a few of our suggestions:
Create A Safe Space
While distractions are great, it’s important to remember that ‘taking her mind off things’ might not always be what your partner needs.
While there is a lot of support out there for women struggling with infertility, the truth is that some women find it very difficult to talk about their experiences with others. The shame surrounding infertility means that you might be the only person they feel comfortable opening up to – so make sure she knows you are there for her.
Get out in nature together
Mother’s Day – and every day – may come with many triggers that your partner might find tough to deal with if motherhood still feels out of reach. There’s nothing quite like the healing power of nature.
Don’t pretend that she’ll feel worse if she talks about it. Remember that her grief is with her every day, especially on Mother’s Day; she is likely feeling incredibly alone. Don’t shy away from the conversation or the hard stuff surrounding infertility. Give her space to share, to be vulnerable, and to grieve the way she needs. Ask questions, give her space to educate you on the process, the procedures, and what she is going through.
The worst thing to say to her is that “everything happens for a reason.” Your partner needs a safe place to deal with this day, to process her feelings and fully experience both the positive and negative emotions that may follow.”
Open up the conversation
what would she like to do when the day arrives? Some women might be happy to treat it like a typical day, but your partner might be grateful for some love, attention and distraction. If she does want to do something, play an active role in suggesting activities that could take her mind off things and make her feel special.
Remember that this Mother’s Day can be a challenging time for couples struggling with infertility. It’s essential to create a safe space for your partner where she can be vulnerable and share her feelings without judgment. Spending time in nature can be incredibly healing, and reaching out to your partner and asking how she would like to spend the day can help her feel supported and loved. Avoid making assurances or trying to minimize her grief; listen and be there for her however she needs. Remember that this journey is not easy, but together you can navigate it with love, understanding, and empathy.