Facing Father’s Day when you’re not a father yet!
For many people, Father’s Day is a time for cherishing the relationships between fathers and children. But when someone is struggling to become a parent or wants children but life hasn’t worked out that way, Father’s Day can highlight that void.
Even though it is difficult to attribute a percentage of infertility cases to a member of a couple, it is normally considered that 40% relate to male problems, 40% to female problems, and the remaining 20 % to mixed causes.
There are a lot of factors that influence male infertility. It may be that the man has genetic or sperm problems, but there is also an increasing number of external factors coming into play: pollution, stress, bad food, drinking, and smoking all negatively impact the chances of men when it comes to fathering children.
Here are some ideas on ways to self-care in infertility:
Just Say No: This can be tough, but sometimes you just have to say ‘No’ to events and situations that are annoying for you. There can be family gatherings and social situations around Father’s Day that may just be too painful right now.
Find An Ally: If you must go to a father’s day event or part of you really wants to go but you’re worried about the fallout, enlist an ally or two. Talk to someone who you know will be at the event who knows your family-building journey about what you’re going through. That person can help shift the conversation to a new subject.
Focus on the positives: Fertility treatments are advancing all the time, so it’s important not to lose hope. There are lots of options open to both men and women who are suffering from fertility issues – but timing and early diagnosis is key. The sooner a person is diagnosed, the more chance they have of exploring options to fulfill their dream of starting a family.
Maintain a good relationship with your partner: Keeping your relationship with your partner ‘alive’ and strong is very important, as you both need each other’s support. No one will understand better than your partner what you are going through, so keeping her in the loop in terms of your feelings is crucial – it’s also highly likely.
Take Time for You: Do activities that bring you joy whether it’s exercise, reading a new book, a hobby you love. Be kind to yourself.
Ask for support: Joining a support group can often be a good idea where you can share your emotions amongst caring, like-minded individuals.
Focus on your family: Some men find solace in focusing on celebrating their own fathers or grandfathers on Father’s Day, even in the absence of children of their own. Enjoy quality time with your family.